Not My Will…But Yours

“For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. – John 6:38


We had the dress, the rings, the invitations printed, the place, the cake ordered, suits and dresses for the kids. The preacher was ready, our friends were excited, and we were living in anticipation – counting down even the hours. Everything was prepared for our wedding ceremony …and then God said, “Wait!”

Sometimes God teaches us painful lessons through the events in our lives and this is one of those times. This coming Saturday at 1:00 I was to marry the man of my dreams. Frank and I were anxiously waiting to say, “I do!” But it wasn’t to happen. God had been dealing with Frank all week and telling him not to marry me right now, but to wait. He’d been warning him with dreams – terrible dreams. While God was also giving me those same messages, I was turning a deaf ear to Him so that I could pursue my desires. I didn’t want to listen! I didn’t want to wait! I wanted to marry Frank Wilford more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life!

I praise God that I’ve found Frank, and that he is a man who is willing to come to me knowing that it will hurt me and tell me God’s truth. He was gentle and loving through the entire thing. He showed me compassion even as his own heart was breaking.

I was angry at God. Yes, that’s right, angry at God. God knows our hearts and just as our children are sometimes angry with us, He knows we will sometimes be upset with Him. On Sunday I shouted at God in prayer “Why? Tell me why now? Why 7 days before the wedding do you stop this?” God gave me no answers on Sunday. I continued to cry out to Him in anger for several hours. But just as I don’t talk to my kids when they’re upset, He made me wait for the answer until I’d calmed down.

On Monday it came. The answer was clear and was given in Ezekiel 8, 1 John 3:1-3, Psalms 40, and several other passages. It was given through at least 3 people who called to comfort me. God wasn’t withholding the answer in anger towards me. He was now showering me with His truth and His love to show me the good and perfect way to marry Frank. He wanted me to place Him back on the pedestal of my heart, and serve only Him so I could be the wife Frank needs. He wanted me to grow closer to Him so that I could be a minister’s wife and helper. God will reign in my heart and life, even if it means pressing me as coal is pressured to create diamonds. From now on, God will reign supreme in my heart. That is my promise to Him.

There was another deeper lesson as well. My will was not God’s will, and it should have been. I should have been crying out to God begging for Him to show me His will in my life. Instead, I was running wild with a love like I’ve never known and chasing my own dreams. I must have looked like a kid in a candy store to God! I can see Him there behind me, running after me and I darted from isle to isle, trying to keep me out of trouble.

We are to be like Jesus. That’s the role of all Christians – to become like the Son of God. But there are times in the Bible that Jesus’ will was not God’s will. In John 6:38 Jesus says to his disciples, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. “ He had a different will than that of God the Father, yet He was obedient to the will of God. Again, when he was in the garden of Gethsemane, he prayed in Luke 22:42, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Jesus was willing to take on the will of God even when it meant His very death. What an example for us to follow! Obedience till death to gain life!

As Christians we should be obedient at all times to the will and way of God. We should be as the flowers are to the sun. They grow facing the sun. As the sun passes overhead, they bend to follow it. They strive to be ever near it and reach toward the skies seeking its warmth and nourishment.

Father God, help us to seek you and your will only. Help us that we will look toward you for all our answers. Grow us Father into the blossoms you want us to be. Change us Father into the vessels of your Spirit that you need. Love us Father enough to continually correct us. Amen.

The Dearest Friend I Ever Had

The Dearest Friend I Ever Had

 

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

We often talk about the joy of salvation while still living in this world, and the fact that it’s not just about getting a ‘ticket to heaven’.  It can be hard to explain what that joy is all about.  It’s like trying to describe a rain drop in the middle of a torrential rain!  Where to do you begin?  I believe we have to begin with Jesus.

Throughout my years on this earth I’ve had many friends, and I thank God for each and every one.  Friendship brings flavor to an otherwise doldrums life.  A friend gives you someone to talk over your thoughts with, to laugh with, to cry with, and to simply pass the time of life with.

But friends of this life come and go.  Through job changes I’ve lost touch with many dear people.  I worked many years as a consultant and would spend stints from a few weeks to many months working with a group of people only to have to move on to another company’s tasks and leave them all behind.  I’ve had friends in church that were closer than family.  But when either they or I were lead to another worship center, over time, I lost their friendship.

Earthly friends can turn on you too.  I’ve made my share of mistakes and hurt people I loved who never loved me the same thereafter.  People aren’t always forgiving of your mistakes, or can forgive you but never want to be that close to you again.

There are different levels of friends too.  I have a few friends I will share my deepest, darkest secrets with, and there are others that I’ve learned to limit what I share. 

And there are those friends that keep me around only for what I can do for them.  It’s obvious in when they call.  They call when they have a problem, a need, or when it’s convenient for them. 

But this is just how people are.  We all are sometimes unloyal, self-seeking, here today and gone tomorrow.  These are all still my friends, and I love them and value our friendships.  But then there is that best friend, the one who never leaves my side, is always forgiving, is always there for me to cry to, shows me things to laugh about, and loves me.

Jesus has been my dearest friend since the age of 8 ½, even though it took me many, many years to realize it.  You don’t understand salvation and the many gifts it brings when you get it.  That’s revealed over time.  So let me tell you about my dearest friend, and our friendship.  This is the joy of salvation.

Hebrews 13:8 says “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever”.  He is the unchangeable friend.  He doesn’t want to be my friend today, but tomorrow find someone else of greater popularity to befriend.  Even when being my friend isn’t popular – He is there.  He never changes.  He continues to be holy, loyal, loving, wise, and powerful.

I’ve lost many friends because I failed to keep up the relationship when the tasks of day to day life took my time.  Proverbs 18:24 says “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Friendship has to be worked, and earned.  Sometimes life happens, and that gets to be more than you can fit into your schedule.  Even a brother, who doesn’t give up on you so easily, may eventually forget to call you to check on you.  But Jesus is CLOSER than a brother.  I don’t have to work to be sure we stay in touch.  In Joshua 1:5 He promises “I will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Jesus doesn’t hold my mistakes against me.  I know they hurt Him, and yet He sees them and loves me in spite of myself.  He is forgiving.  In 1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” All my sins, past, present, and future, were forgiven and covered in His righteousness on January 15, 1971, the day I believed in Him for my salvation.  He doesn’t hold my mistakes against me.  He simply nudges me an encourages me through His Spirit to do better.  There is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), only love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can give Him my deepest secrets, my worries, my doubts, and know that they are safe with Him.  He’s not going to plaster it on a billboard, or gossip it to others.  He can be trusted.  He tells me in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”  He gives true rest, true comfort, from the pains and worries of life.

Some will say, “How can you be friends with someone you cannot see?” and that is a good question.  But there are two ways in which things are seen.  First there is the usual way – with your eyes.  But then there are things you don’t see with your eyes, but you see by their effect on the things you can see, like the wind.  I don’t see the wind, but I see it blow the trees and shake the leaves.  I don’t see the breeze, but I can feel it on my face.  I don’t have to see Jesus with my eyes to know He is there. 

In my life, I’ve seen His presence in the answered prayers, the storms He has calmed, and times when He simply let me lean on Him and I found His strength when I was too weak to face life.  I’ve felt His presence in times when I was overcome with fear to the point of not being able to speak.  I’ve known Him to be there when times were so good that my heart felt as if it would pop like a balloon filled with love!  He is there – always – through the greatest gift I’ve ever received, which is His Spirit in me.   

On January 15, 1971 He entered my heart, placed his Holy Spirit in me, and became my best friend.  I’m happy to share my best friend with you.  Ask Him to enter your heart and be your best friend too.  He is the joy of salvation.

 Let Me Be Job

“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” - Job 42:5-6

This morning I was getting my makeup on and about to do my hair. I thought to myself “you’re not going anywhere today - just pin it back - put it in a ponytail”, and suddenly I hear in my head “the weather today is supposed to be brutal, what if you died today and your hair wasn’t done?”

Oh, I know that voice. That’s the voice of lies, the voice of condemnation, the voice of fear and anxiety. It was satan. (Yes, little “s” because he doesn’t even deserve his name.) And without even thinking, my mouth said, “Let me be Job!” AH! I know that voice too. It didn’t come from me. It was pushed out by GOD!

As soon as I said it I questioned myself. Would I really want to endure what Job went through?

Job lost his health, all his children, all his herds, and all his riches. Then his three friends show up telling him that he must have sinned to have all this come against him. The book of Job has 42 chapters. Most of them were his friends telling him how horrible he must have been to have this happen to him. What kind of friend is that? The kind satan sends!

But when you get to Chapter 38, God speaks from a whirlwind. He questions all the things that were said. He tells Job not to listen to his friends, who were somewhat ignorant of what God can do.

What would it take to be like Job? Job leaned on God the entire time. He did not give up. He continued to listen to his friends and stood his ground. He put his FAITH in God. Hebrews 11:6 says that without having faith, we cannot please God. Don’t we all want to please God?

At the end of God’s discussion with Job, he saw who God was. He repented from how he felt the fear. What did God do? Did He punish Job? No. He awarded him! In Job 42:9, it says “the Lord had accepted Job”. What a beautiful 5 words! And then God gave Job twice as much as he had before. Friends, our God is the greatest Father we will ever have.

If you know me, you know the amount of stress lying on my shoulders for the past 3 years. I don’t need to go into the details. But I can tell you that without faith in God, I could not walk this path. He owns me. I am His child. If He chooses for me to take the route Job took, I know it will be ok because He will walk with me. But Lord, I’m not asking to be Job! I’m asking you to continue walking with me - no matter what. Because in You I find my strength, and a love that is eternal.