Not My Will…But Yours

“For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. – John 6:38


We had the dress, the rings, the invitations printed, the place, the cake ordered, suits and dresses for the kids. The preacher was ready, our friends were excited, and we were living in anticipation – counting down even the hours. Everything was prepared for our wedding ceremony …and then God said, “Wait!”

Sometimes God teaches us painful lessons through the events in our lives and this is one of those times. This coming Saturday at 1:00 I was to marry the man of my dreams. Frank and I were anxiously waiting to say, “I do!” But it wasn’t to happen. God had been dealing with Frank all week and telling him not to marry me right now, but to wait. He’d been warning him with dreams – terrible dreams. While God was also giving me those same messages, I was turning a deaf ear to Him so that I could pursue my desires. I didn’t want to listen! I didn’t want to wait! I wanted to marry Frank Wilford more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life!

I praise God that I’ve found Frank, and that he is a man who is willing to come to me knowing that it will hurt me and tell me God’s truth. He was gentle and loving through the entire thing. He showed me compassion even as his own heart was breaking.

I was angry at God. Yes, that’s right, angry at God. God knows our hearts and just as our children are sometimes angry with us, He knows we will sometimes be upset with Him. On Sunday I shouted at God in prayer “Why? Tell me why now? Why 7 days before the wedding do you stop this?” God gave me no answers on Sunday. I continued to cry out to Him in anger for several hours. But just as I don’t talk to my kids when they’re upset, He made me wait for the answer until I’d calmed down.

On Monday it came. The answer was clear and was given in Ezekiel 8, 1 John 3:1-3, Psalms 40, and several other passages. It was given through at least 3 people who called to comfort me. God wasn’t withholding the answer in anger towards me. He was now showering me with His truth and His love to show me the good and perfect way to marry Frank. He wanted me to place Him back on the pedestal of my heart, and serve only Him so I could be the wife Frank needs. He wanted me to grow closer to Him so that I could be a minister’s wife and helper. God will reign in my heart and life, even if it means pressing me as coal is pressured to create diamonds. From now on, God will reign supreme in my heart. That is my promise to Him.

There was another deeper lesson as well. My will was not God’s will, and it should have been. I should have been crying out to God begging for Him to show me His will in my life. Instead, I was running wild with a love like I’ve never known and chasing my own dreams. I must have looked like a kid in a candy store to God! I can see Him there behind me, running after me and I darted from isle to isle, trying to keep me out of trouble.

We are to be like Jesus. That’s the role of all Christians – to become like the Son of God. But there are times in the Bible that Jesus’ will was not God’s will. In John 6:38 Jesus says to his disciples, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. “ He had a different will than that of God the Father, yet He was obedient to the will of God. Again, when he was in the garden of Gethsemane, he prayed in Luke 22:42, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Jesus was willing to take on the will of God even when it meant His very death. What an example for us to follow! Obedience till death to gain life!

As Christians we should be obedient at all times to the will and way of God. We should be as the flowers are to the sun. They grow facing the sun. As the sun passes overhead, they bend to follow it. They strive to be ever near it and reach toward the skies seeking its warmth and nourishment.

Father God, help us to seek you and your will only. Help us that we will look toward you for all our answers. Grow us Father into the blossoms you want us to be. Change us Father into the vessels of your Spirit that you need. Love us Father enough to continually correct us. Amen.