Desperate for Him

"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me." - Psalms 51:10-11

Regret is a terrible feeling. It's a passionate guilt that can create self condemnation.

King David felt regret when he wrote Psalms 51. The prophet Nathan had just delivered to him the news of his punishment for his adulterous affair with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband Uriah. For this sin, His first born son, which they had conceived in their affair, would die.

Most of us would cry out to God after that kind of news. We would beg and plead with God for Him to change His mind and save the child. But in Psalms 51, David prays not for the life of his child to be spared, but for his broken relationship with God.

He prays "create in me a clean heart", "wash me and I will be white as snow", return to me the joy of my salvation", and "do not take your Holy Spirit from me". His soul is filled with regret, and the joy of his relationship with God was gone. King David, an anointed man of God, felt the sorry of sin, and distance from God.

We sing a song at church called "The Air I Breathe". It's lyrics reflect on our relationship with God being "our daily bread", nourishing out souls, and the "air we breath", bringing us to life. It's also says,, "I'm desperate for you", and "I'm lost without you". Sometimes we sing the words without feeling their meaning.

King David understood that his relationship with God was his most important asset. As anointed as he was, he understood he was nothing without God. He felt the pain he had caused his Father. None of us wants to hurt those that love us. He cried out, feeling the need for God to come near again.

Gods mercy removes regret. When we realize we are desperate for Him, we can cry out. He will forgive, and forgive again, and again. We are always desperate for Him, whether we realize it or not.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart. These oh God, you will not despise." Psalms 51:17