Church Hurt
I once heard a statement made in Sunday
School conversation that has stuck with me like an ancient proverb: “there’s no
hurt like church hurt”. But church
people don’t like to talk about “church hurt”.
It’s like the dirty crumbs in the corner of the room that we just sweep
under the carpet as we welcome visitors in.
It’s not hard to understand why church hurt
is such a huge problem. We come together
in a local church body as a family. We
share in each other’s lives, learn together, fellowship together, and raise our
children together. We develop
relationships that are built on intimacy.
And yet, let one of us slip up and do something un-church-thinkable, and
suddenly we’re held accountable to a measure even far greater than God has
placed on us.
Time and time again I’ve seen it. The church turns its back on someone. Maybe it was a DUI, maybe it was a divorce, and
maybe it was some other issue that we just measure is beneath us as a
church. We jump up on our soap box,
bring the rest of our righteous members up there with us, and look down our
noses at the one who has fallen. Oh,
family of God, be careful how high you build your soap box!
God grants us mercy and forgiveness, but
the church grants us judgment and punishment.
We’re supposed to walk according to His example. But for some reason, when it’s within our
local church we feel compelled to act as judge and jury and are quick to exclude
the member from the fellowship either through formal or informal ways.
In 2 Corinthians 2 Paul warns against this
kind of behavior. He says “you ought rather to forgive and comfort him,
lest he be swallowed up with too much sorrow”. There are thousands of church members who are
at home every Sunday rather than attending church because of this sorrow. And those church members have family members
that side with them as well, and sit home. And their children will one day have
children, and they will not attend church either because of the deeds done to
their grandparents years before that broke fellowship with the church. Knowing that, is it worth it? Is it worth your feeling of righteous
condemnation to turn away so many from Christ?
Paul goes on to warn that we should forgive
“lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.” When we are called to love one another even
as Christ loves us, and we do anything contrary to that, we walk away from
Christ. Oddly enough, that’s what most
of those hurt at church have been declared guilty of, and yet we do the
same. We just sin differently. Satan then gets the opportunity he waits and
lurks for in many churches – an opportunity to cause a division. Oh how his mouth just salivates at the
opportunity to break up a loving church, and turn children of God against
children of God.
Don’t be ignorant of his ways. If you have hurt another church member, your
entire church is suffering because of you.
Your brother or sister in Christ is hurting because of you. And perhaps it wasn’t you that caused the
hurt, but you can mend it. MEND IT. Swallow your pride, albeit a bitter taste,
reach out in love and bring back into full fellowship those that are
hurting. That’s what families do.
Perhaps you have been hurt by a local
church, or someone close to you, and you’re now left without the intimate
relationships of church family. Don’t
neglect the body of Christ as a whole because of one group. Not all God’s children are the same, and not
all that claim to be His children really are!
The greatest loss you can face in life is not the loss of church
fellowship, but the loss of fellowship with Christ. To keep that relationship strong, you need the
care of a good church family, and they need you. Don’t
let satan subject you to so much sorrow.
Move on. Let go of the hurt.
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