Is the Relationship Worthy of Marriage: A Series on Sacred Marriage
“Steadfast love and faithfulness meet;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.” – Psalms 85:10 (ESV)
Today’s devotional will begin a series
God is leading me to write regarding marriage, and finding the spouse He has
for us. Having gone through two divorces,
you might very well think “who is she to
offer marital advice?” But let me
ask you this. If you’re going to a new
town and you need directions, do you ask someone who has never been there
before, or someone who has walked its streets?
God has seasoned my testimony with the
pits I’ve fallen into, and asked me to show others where those pits are and
enable them to bypass them. (And to
lighten this a bit, note that those “pits” did not make me “pitiful” because
God was and still is by my side!) 2
Corinthians 1:4 says that God comforts us in our troubles so “that we may be able to comfort those who
are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by
God”. So to that effort I offer advice to those who may be
considering marriage, may be looking for a spouse, are dating, or may have
never started dating.
Marriage was designed by God, not
man. We have to look to God for answers
in what it is supposed to be for it to be truly successful. You don’t ask an Olympic
swimmer how to bake a cake! Why would
you turn to Hollywood, filled with divorces and “entertainment” based on sex
outside marriage and divorce, to find answers about marriage? Let’s turn to the originator of the
relationship, and ask Him to tell us how to be successful in marriage.
In the Garden of Eden when God created
Eve, He did so because, as He proclaimed “it is not good that man should be alone”
(Genesis 2:18). Children had to be born.
Unlike the male and female animals he made, God chose to have a part in
the marital relationship by creating Eve Himself specifically for Adam. This is a divine relationship created by God,
and it should be treated with respect as a gift from God. It’s not something to do spontaneously or
without caution. In Malachi 2:16 God
says “I hate divorce”. He does not approve it except in the case of death
of a spouse or unfaithfulness of one spouse to the other (Matthew 5:32, 1
Corinthians 7:39).
However, things do happen to break the foundation of a
marriage. Though God hates divorce, He
will forgive all sins, including divorce.
I will not sit here and tell a woman who may be in an abusive
relationship to stay. SEEK GOD. He holds all the answers for your future.
Divorce leaves a scar on the soul. When two are joined in marriage, they are no
longer two, but ONE in the sight of God, and are given a portion of His Spirit
within their relationship. Divorce does
not leave the one as two wholes as before, but as halves of the single unit. His Spirit bond between them is gone. Forgiveness can be attained, but make no mistake,
it is a painful process.
The two are made one for a single purpose. It is to allow them to have God-loving and God-following
children. Malachi 2: 15 says, “Did he not make them one,
with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God
seeking? Godly offspring.” Children
are to be the result of marriage – not the cause for it. Two are made as one, with God as their
binding force. Malachi 2:15-16 goes on
to say “So guard yourselves in your
spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For
the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be
faithless.”
Guarding your spirit means having
self-control. A man, or woman, must be
able to commit to the marriage in such a strong way that outside elements and
temptations will not break it. The vows
are not made just to each other, but first to God. Breaking a promise to God does not go without
consequences. Ecclesiastes 5:5-7 says
about vows made to God that “It is better
that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Let
not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it
was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of
your hands? For when dreams increase and words grow many,
there is vanity; but God is the one you must fear.”
It’s not the lawyer, divorce court, the loss of your retirement, or the custody
of your children you should fear when looking at divorce, it is God.
Malachi says that one who divorces their
spouse “covers his garment with violence”.
Don’t take those words lightly. Violence
in this verse comes from the Hebrew word “chamac”
(Strongs H2555). It means “violence,
wrong, cruelty, injustice”. That is what divorce brings to your life.
After considering all this, you may ask
if marriage is worth the effort. After
finding a man who truly is my gift from God, and the spouse I believe He had
designed for me from the start, I will tell you YES, it is! I like how Psalms
85 describes God’s relationship to His people because it so describes the heart
of those divorced. It says He forgave
their iniquity, covered all their sin, and put away His indignation toward us.
It goes on to say that He restored us and revived us. And in verse 10 it says, “Steadfast love and
faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.”
Friends, this is how successful marriage
is accomplished. It is an act of God
where a steadfast, unshakable love is met with faithfulness. God finds it righteous and dwells in it, and
peace is its sweet kiss of approval.
Seeking this kind of marriage is worth the effort. This kind of marriage has no end to its
blessings, and is never a burden. The
key is knowing how to find it.
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